The Line

Josh and I were told this week that we aren’t feeding Sierra enough for as active as she is. We were told that she is just way too skinny. This was not coming from her doctor, or any of her coaches, or anyone that matters. It was from another parent.

Dear World:

Sierra has never in her life been turned away from food. Like, NEVER. She was eating OVER 2,000 calories a day at age ten. I’d make her eat more if I could get her to stop for two seconds and put food in her mouth. Yes, she’s active. Yes, she’s skinny. But guess what: she’s HEALTHY. She’s FIT. She’s HAPPY.

kuhl womens greta flannel coffee sierra2 white background

In our society, I guess that parents are just doomed to be judged as failures in some way. As the parents of a girl growing up in America, that judgment is even harsher. She’s too skinny, she’s too muscular, she’s too tall, she’s too this or that and not enough of the other.

You know what? No.

Sierra isn’t perfect. She isn’t a Barbie doll molded out of plastic that is just the right American color, and just the right American anorexic, and just the right American curvy, and has just the right American legs, boobs, blonde hair, and blue eyes.

She will never be that. No one will ever be that.

Sierra is a champion athlete. She has a big, bloody, feeling heart. She has a soul that shines like diamonds in the sun. She has a loud, infectious laugh, and a big, toothy smile. Her eyes are untainted by judgement and clearly look upon all of the good in people. She is loyal, and loving, and caring, and confident, and driven to be the absolute best person she can be.



sierra swimming 1 crop


And that, dear people of the world, is what makes her special. That is what makes her fantastic. I can’t imagine how a parent could ask for anything more in their child. I just can’t.

2018 toad and co womens trillium crew sweater iron throne pic-sierra

I’m sorry that all you see when you look at this shining example of what a person can be is her waistline. It is my grand hope that we can raise her to know that she is better than that.

No one will ever win this race. Everyone is either too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too busy, too lazy, too generous, too cold, too sensitive, too harsh…and on and on, and that’s really unfortunate. Somehow our society has drawn a line of what a perfect person is, and everyone either falls short of that line, or crosses completely over it, and receives poor judgement either way. No one will ever be on that line.

I just want Sierra to know that the line doesn’t exist.

I want parents to know that the line doesn’t exist. Parent shaming is wrong, and is a major part of the Mommy War mentality that I just can’t stand. Josh and I are largely unaffected by it because we just know better. We know Sierra, we know ourselves, and we know that the line isn’t there. Some other parents don’t, and as a consequence, their kids don’t know either. We are lucky enough to be raising a strong, confident daughter who just doesn’t see the line. I am sorry that there are kids out there who have been taught differently, because until they decide in their hearts that the line does not exist, they will always feel like they aren’t enough.

And that’s a lie.

Each and every one of us is enough.

And that is all that matters.

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